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Last night I had a dream about watching Doctor Who episodes, one of them featured a range of absolutely disgusting and revolting aliens. I woke up with a start, it was about at quarter to four o’clock in the morning. I wondered if I should get up so I wouldn't have bad dreams anymore, but decided to continue sleeping.

I had a dream where I travelled to Lapland. I petted reindeer and Lappish dogs and ate some local delicacies.
In another dream, I was in a Hennes & Mauritz shop and I was having a bloody fight with some girls from my junior high. I crushed their bodies in a garbage heap, and it made me feel bad that I had given in to my blind rage. I guess the dream taught me that I still have some unfinished business with my past memories.

I got up about at half past eleven o’clock in the morning, took my meds, had a wash, dressed up, and had coffee.

It was sunny outside. It was predicted that this week it would rain heavily every day.

Later the day I went to visit Late Winds, there was some sort of happening for people who have delusions as a part of their mental illness. I had a good time there.

Later the day I travelled back home, and made myself coffee.
I called my mother and asked her if I can come for a visit, she said it’s alright.

Once at my parents’ home, my mom said that my kitty ear hat is really cute.
I drank orange juice and coffee, and ate a cinnamon roll and a handful of cashew nuts.
I didn’t talk with mom much, but we had a good time nonetheless.
I did some simple stretches and exercises and also exercised my face and neck muscles, and immediately felt better. I also shaved my armpits.

Later the day I left, I hugged and kissed my mom and told her I am coming again tomorrow. I walked to the library, and borrowed a laptop. I updated my blogs, and then I went to the mailbox and mailed three birthday cards.

I walked to the Quarry City church and went to the youth group.
I had a good time, writing into my diary and eating treats.

Later the day I left and travelled to Helsinki, I visited a contemporary art museum. There was a new art show by an Indian artist: the show was awesome, a bit frightening, but still awesome.

After the visit to the museum, I visited the museum shop to look at notebooks. I should buy some soon.

I went to visit a few clothing shops and a jewellery shop. I was glad to see all the amazing clothes they had for sale.
Later the day I decided to go back home; I took a bus to my parents’ hometown.

I started feeling sick; my heart lurched, like a cold hand was squeezing my heart. I also felt like I was throwing up every time I coughed.

The bus driver drove into a wrong lane, I advised him back on the right one.
Once at the train station, I helped another person with the ticket machine. So I guess I did two good deeds today.

Once at home, I took my evening medicine. I put on my jammies and felt incredibly good, I felt like I was wrapped in a soft, warm, fuzzy blanket.

I used my Netflix app to watch TV shows, half an episode of the second season of the cartoon Transformers: Robots in Disguise, and a new TV show named The Good Place, which is about Heaven and the life after death. I love all kinds of fiction (déjà vu!) about life after death, especially Heaven.

Tomorrow morning, the first thing to do is to take a shower and wash my sweaty hair.
I will start doing the weekly housework, I will try to do as much housework as I can in one day.
Then I will go visit my mother, she will give me the weekly allowance. I will walk there, and I also need to mail a couple of name- day cards.
I will buy a Spotify Premium gift card, so I can enjoy music. I should also buy some hygiene products and groceries.

(no subject)

Wednesday, October 4th, 2017 22:00
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I woke up in the morning and immediately started coughing my lungs out. I was supposed to go to the mindfulness group at the psychiatric center for the first time, so I got up, took my meds, and started brushing my teeth; it triggered my gag reflex, and I threw up something that looked like the goat cheese bagel I had nommed yesterday.

I spent the entire morning coughing and throwing up, so I went back to bed. I was a bit sad that I couldn’t go to the mindfulness group, but if I had gone there anyway, the others wouldn’t exactly be pleased if I coughed and threw up while they were trying to meditate.

I got up after two o’clock in the afternoon, dressed up, and put on the Joey Ramone necklace I had gotten from Zoya (thanks, cutie!) a couple of years ago.

I went to visit my friend Eleclya, I had promised to bring her a pump- action bottle of basic lotion. You should see her skin, she looks like she’s halfway transforming into a red dragon!

It was very sunny outside and I was happy, because the past two days it has rained a lot.

I travelled to Eleclya’s home. She was making French fries for dinner, I got some as well. We drank coffee, talked and burped and laughed and farted and joked, and then we went to see Odessa.

We had coffee and continued talking and laughing, listened to Crazy Frog and some 1990’s hits, and then Suavecita called me.
We agreed to go see our mutual friend Riga on Sunday for coffee and go walk her beagle.

We also agreed that me, Suavecita, and Eleclya would go see the Stephen King movie It soon. We also agreed that we would have a sleepover at her home in November, and that we would have a birthday party together in December; she was born on 23rd, and me on 28th, meaning that she is only five days older than me.

I left and took a bus back to Stick City, then I took a train back to Hometown and went to the post office to pick up a package; I had received a notification about it today.
It was the asexual pride pussyhat I had ordered from Etsy.com a few weeks ago, I took it out of the package and put it on my head, and walked home with my chin up.

I went back home, made some coffee, and still felt like I should go someplace; I had actually forgotten to mail a couple of birbday cards, perhaps tomorrow.
I decided not to go out this evening, even if I felt the urban wanderlust again; but I decided not to yield in every fancy.

Tomorrow I will go to this happening in Late Winds, it’s meant for people who have delusions and hear non- existent voices as a part of their mental illness.
After that, I will run some errands; I will send a few greeting cards, go to the pharmacy to recycle some medicine and ask them what kind of cough syrup I should use. I should also go to a library to use a computer to update my blogs.
In the evening, I will go to the church for the youth group.

(no subject)

Monday, October 2nd, 2017 22:00
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I woke up in the morning to the sound of the rain pattering against my window. It’s been raining a lot lately.

I was awake before my alarm clock rang in the morning. I got up, took my meds, dressed up, and made myself as pretty as I could.

I logged in to the online bank service, I had received money.

I went to the psychiatric center, I had an appointment there for an interview for the mindfulness group. The occupational therapist arrived to the reception right at the same time with me.
she asked me a few questions, and I started spacing out and travelled to the time in my first high school, when I had a Swedish exam. Geez.

After the interview, I went to the grocery shop and bought some snacks. Then I went to Hennes & Mauritz and bought a new necklace.

I travelled to downtown Helsinki on a bus, but it got stuck in the traffic so I got off and walked. I visited a thrift store and was happy to see that they had a vintage section.

I took another bus to the city center, and walked all the way to another thrift store where I bought a nightshirt I can take along when I go visit my granny.

I travelled back to Hometown and went to the supermarket, I bought a week’s worth of groceries and then I went back home.

I was so tired and my body felt heavy, so I decided to take a nap. I decided not to go to the Late Winds youth group or the Ore City library knitting group.
It’s been a long time since I last took a nap.

I woke up at half past six o’clock in the evening, and washed a load of laundry and went to the shopping mall for one last time. I had a good time there.

Once back home, I felt a bit sad because I haven’t managed to take good care of myself recently; it’s been a long time since I went to the gym, or brushed my teeth.
I got an inspiration; right after hanging my clothes on the drying rack, I took a shower and cleaned my teeth.
I felt so good after that.
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Last night before going to bed, I watched the movie Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Out of the Shadows on my Netflix app.

I was already awake when my alarm clock rang at half past eight, I had had some weird dreams, I decided to keep on sleeping, I didn’t feel like getting up even if I knew I would get coffee.

I got up at ten minutes to ten o’clock in the morning, took my morning medicine, had a wash, and dressed up.

One of the HoivaOnni workers came for an appointment today, even if the appointments are usually on Friday afternoons. Anyway, she was very nice to me. I washed the dishes and talked with her a bit, and then we left at the same time.

I went to the health center, and got the queue number 70. I had to wait for two hours(!) for my turn to the nurse, but eventually the doctor arrived right away. She listened to my lungs with a stethoscope, and told me that my breathing doesn’t sound raspy anymore. The nurse measured my body temperature and took a tiny blood sample from my index finger tip, and told me that everything is fine, I should be cured of the bronchitis by now. She also told me that the coughing may last for at least a month and I should invest in some cough syrup. She told me to come again if the coughing lasts over two months.
I asked her if I can start working out by now, and she said I can, but I must take it easy at first.

I was feeling quite stiff after sitting on my butt for two hours. I went home, made some coffee and did a little bit of this and that, and then I decided to leave again.

It was bitterly cold outside, I really should invest in a pair of gloves.

I took a bus to Ore City, then another bus to eastern Helsinki, and went to visit a Hennes & Mauritz shop, but I didn’t find anything interesting.

I took a subway to Camp Town, and went to a thrift store to look at the new selection and planned what to buy tomorrow. I settled for a cute nightshirt that I could take to my granny’s home, I didn’t find any Dirndl or other vintage dresses.

I took a subway to Pasture Town, and went to another thrift store. I found two cute Marimekko blouses.

I took a tram to the city center, and took a train back home.

Once back home, I made some coffee and wrote into my diary. At some point, I should continue doing housework.
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I was already awake when my smartphone alarm woke me up at half past nine o’clock in the morning, but I didn’t feel like getting up yet.
I snoozed for half an hour, and had a really bad dream.
I awoke when my smartphone alarm woke me up again, I decided to get up even if I didn’t feel like getting up, but then again, I didn’t want to see the bad dream.
It was one of my most re-occurring dreams, the one where some silly kids are playing pranks and I get so furious that I kill them.

I got up and took my morning medicine, put deodorant into my armpits and put lotion on my face, put on a multicolour- striped tricot turtleneck blouse and a pair of black trousers. I also put on two necklaces.

I went to the lab for blood tests, I received the queue number 175; there were 30 patients before me, so I decided to give the number to someone else and come again on another day. I didn’t feel like staying because my HoivaOnni worker would visit me today, and I didn’t want to make her wait. And besides, I didn’t know whether the blood tests were supposed to be taken at the lab or at the psychiatric clinic.

Once back home, I started doing housework; I replaced the towels and took the sheets off my bed and washed them, and took the mattress, blanket, and pillow to the balcony to freshen them.

I spent the morning writing my blog template, surfing on the internet, and drinking coffee.

At noon, my HoivaOnni worker came for a visit.
She told me that the HoivaOnni service has been admitted only until the end of September 2017, and my new social worker had not extended it yet.
It’s nothing bad, it just means that the workers won’t visit me until the service has been extended. I can do just fine for a couple of weeks.

After the appointment, I called my mother and told her I am coming over. She said it’s alright.

I took my black Dirndl dress to the dressmaker. I told him that I wanted the skirt cut shorter, and the bodice made slimmer.

I travelled to my parents’ home, once there my brother was visiting me. I love my brother, but I feel uncomfortable around him because he suffers from depression, and sometimes talks about how bad things are in his life.

I ate salmiakki- chocolate waffle bites, and dark grapes. I also drank coffee.

Mom gave me 40 euros. I helped her fold bed sheets and duvet covers.

Later the day I walked back to Hometown, and went to the shopping mall. I visited the stationery shop to buy greeting cards, and then I went to the supermarket and bought these yoghurt shots that are supposed to balance the bacterial flora in your intestines, and also these fruit & vegetable shots that are supposed to supplement your daily intake of vitamins. I have decided to take two of them every day: I have a really lousy appetite, and I cannot afford buying all kinds of vegetables and fruits; they are very expensive here in Finland.
I also bought a new toilet brush, one pair of rubber gloves for washing the dishes, and another for general housework.

I went back home, and put everything to their rightful places. I started working on the greeting cards; I wrote my name and address and greeting and signature, and the receiver’s name and address. I might also put some stickers on them.

I started feeling bored, so I went to the shopping mall and bought three jars of chocolate pudding with whipped cream, it’s become my favourite treat so far that I have become addicted to it.

Once back home, I felt terribly inconvenienced, uncomfortable, and frustrated, and that’s when I became hyper- sensitive and aware of my mental and physical well- being; my teeth felt mouldy, my fingers felt sticky, I had a bad taste in my mouth, my blouse felt too tight, the insides of my ears were itching, and my lips were chapped.

I have been thinking of cutting dairy, sugar, and caffeine out of my diet, they only make me feel worse.

(no subject)

Thursday, September 28th, 2017 22:00
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Today was slightly better day than yesterday, at least I didn’t do much because I had run out of milk, and I cannot drink my coffee without milk, and I cannot get out of bed without the promise of coffee. Sometimes I think I have let coffee take a big bite out of my everyday life.

Saida, my own nurse from the psychiatric clinic, called me in the afternoon and told me that I can go have my blood drawn for testing (thyroid, blood sugar, etc).

I got up at five o’clock in the evening, took my morning medicine, freshened up and put on some pretty clothes and a necklace.

I decided to go visit the youth group at the Quarry City church, at least it would save me from a boring day.
I travelled there because I didn’t have enough spoons for walking.

Once there, I was greeted by the youth worker whom I have met earlier, he was very nice to me. Most of the visitors were teenagers, they were cursing and yelling and telling jokes about sex and drugs, but everyone was having a good time and enjoying themselves.
One of the visitors had brought a foreign exchange student with them, I shook hands with her. I paid a compliment to a girl about her pretty blouse, and to another girl who had long curly red hair. She said thanks and told me she likes my necklace.

I ate white chocolate cookies, chewy sour fruit candies, rustic crisps, and a cashew nut bar, and drank coffee.

Later the evening, I decided to go visit my mother. I called her and told her I am coming over, she said it’s alright.

I decided to walk to my parents’ home, it was such a short distance anyway.
I was in a bad mood because the delusions were bothering me, or it could have been that the delusions were bothering me because I was in a bad mood, I also kept on coughing a lot and every time I coughed or sneezed, a small amount of urine escaped from my already full bladder.

Once at my parents’ home, mom answered the door. Dad was playing softball in Helsinki.
I had coffee and ate a cinnamon roll and some dark grapes.

Later the evening, I left and took a bus to Hometown. I wanted to walk because it was such a beautiful dark evening, but it would have been dangerous for a young woman like me.
Once back home, I started doing the evening routines; I took my evening medicine and had a wash.
I have decided not to brush my teeth until I have been cured of my bronchitis.
My skin is in a very good condition by now, I have remembered to put basic lotion on my body every morning and evening. I have also remembered to wash my face and put the beautifying serum and lotion on it.

I set my alarm clock to wake me up at half past nine o’clock tomorrow morning, it marks twelve hours ever since I ate food; I have to, so to say, fast for twelve hours before having my blood drawn to check out the blood sugar levels.
After the blood tests, I will go back home and start doing the weekly housework.
My HoivaOnni worker will visit me at noon, I will wash the dishes and iron the laundry. After that, I will go visit my mother once again, she will give me the weekly allowance.
I will go shopping and buy food, I will also buy hygiene products like a toilet brush, rubber gloves for washing the dishes and another one for doing general housework.
I will also buy greeting cards for every single one of my friends who has their birthday or name- day next month.

(no subject)

Wednesday, September 27th, 2017 22:00
jokilaulu: (Default)
Today was a very bad day for me. Or actually, it could have been a very good day if it wasn’t for my bad attitude.

Last night when I went to bed, I was in a foul mood and started thinking about life and death. Don’t get worried, I am not contemplating suicide, I just wondered what exactly is the point of living, when you die anyway. You are nothing after your death; your body festers in grave, and your soul ceases to exist.

I woke up when I started coughing. I wondered why I still cough so much, I have been taking the antibiotics for a week now. I was told by the pharmacist that the antibiotics lose their effect if you consume dairy products; I was told that if you consume milk or other dairy product, you have to wait for two hours before you take the medicine, and then you have to wait for two hours after taking the medicine before you consume dairy products.
My diet consists mostly of dairy products, so I guess the antibiotics have been none of help.

I got up, took my morning medicine, had a wash, and dressed up.

I stayed inside for most of the day, and then I left my comfort zone to visit the social security office. I asked the worker for some kind of a paper that would prove that I am a pensioner, so I could get discount for my monthly gym membership fee.
I met one of my grade school friends, this Romany woman who is really sweet and kind. She used to work at Late Winds a while ago.

I went to the gym and the discount was registered, then I went back home.

I decided to go out for errands; I took a bag full of useless stuff to a charity shop container, then I went to a mobile phone shop and asked them how to use the prepaid dongle I had bought.
I went to the pharmacy to recycle some medicines, and then I went round in the shopping mall to look at things I could buy to myself or my friends.

After the shops were closed, I went back home. I was still in a bad mood and I almost cried, but I kept myself busy by doing housework.
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I wish I could learn to enjoy writing my blog entries the way I did during last decade, without any kind of self- criticism even if my English grammar wasn’t that perfect. Of course, I still enjoy writing, but I still have my doubts.

Anyway, this morning I woke up again to a coughing fit, I felt like I was dying but soon I felt better.

I got up, took my morning medicine, had a proper wash, dressed up, and drank my morning coffee. I also drank one yoghurt shot and fruit & veggie shot.

I received money today. I checked my online bank account, paid my monthly gym membership fee, and went out to recharge my travel card.
I recharged it so that I can travel in the metropolitan area for three weeks.

I went to the shopping mall and visited the stationery shop. Frixion ink pens were in discount, three for a tenner, so I bought a pink, black, and blue one.
Then I visited the post office and bought a cardboard package so I could send Zoya’s Halloween package.

In the afternoon, I went to visit the youth group in Walnut Hill. I took a bus there, and once I arrived, I was still in a terribly bad mood but fortunately I started feeling better. There were two new visitors, I shook hands with them and introduced myself.

I drank two cups of cocoa, and one cup of coffee.
Later the afternoon we went to the nearest park to play frisbee golf. We had a good time.
After that, we went back to Late Winds, and discussed what we are going to do during the following groups.

When it was evening, I left and took a bus to Hometown. I went to a clothing shop and bought a gift for Zoya. Then I realized that I could send her Halloween package today, considering that I had enough first class postage stamps to stick on the package, so I didn’t have to pay for sending it.

I went back home, wrapped up the gift as neatly as I could, and put all the previously bought gifts neatly into the box, and then I went out to go to the post office.

I mailed the package, the postal worker was very nice to me even if I fumbled a bit with the stamps.

I went back home, and made myself a cup of pomegranate- strawberry- lemon tea. I have decided to drink tea in the evenings, when I can’t drink coffee; caffeine keeps me awake, and besides, I enjoy drinking my coffee with milk, and dairy products weaken the effect of the antibiotics I was prescribed for bronchitis.
I really should take up the habit of drinking green tea, it’s very healthy. But then again, I enjoy drinking tea with sugar, after it has cooled down a bit, and then it would lose all its healing ingredients.

I don’t have any special plans for tomorrow.
I have to visit the social security institution to get some sort of piece of paper to prove that I am a pensioner, so I could get discount for the gym membership payment. I also need to ask them a few questions.
Then I will go to the said gym to show them the paper.
I have decided not to go to the gym before I have been healed of my bronchitis, I also won’t brush my teeth so I won’t transfer the bacteria into my toothbrush.
Here’s to hoping tomorrow will be a good day.
jokilaulu: (Default)
Today I had to be awake early, because I had an appointment at the psychiatric center at noon.
I managed to awake early after having summery dreams, I woke up to a violent coughing fit and I was afraid that I would start spewing blood.
I wonder if the antibiotics I was prescribed are actually working, I still cough tremendously but it’s not so snotty anymore.

I got up, took my morning medicine, took a shower and made myself as pretty as I could. I put on the brown and orange 1970’s dress that looks like a medieval princess dress, it’s very pretty. I also put on a Capricorn necklace.

It was very sunny and warm outside, I started feeling hot.

During the appointment at the psychiatric center, me and my nurse agreed that I am going to take part in this mindfulness group that starts next week. We also talked a bit about my health, especially my physical health. I told her about my current life, and plans for my future.
We made a new appointment at the beginning of November. I will meet her anyway when I take part in the mindfulness group, and besides now that I feel mentally better, I don’t have to visit her all that often.

I went for an urbane adventure; I took a bus to eastern Helsinki, then a subway to downtown, and then a bus back to Hometown. Once back, I went to the shopping mall and visited the supermarket to buy a toothbrush that I will take to my granny’s home when I go visit her next month, and a new lip balm.

Once back home, I continued doing housework; I scrubbed the bathroom, and hoovered and mopped the visible part of my floor. It was hard work, but I was glad after it was done.

I went out, took the biological waste to recycling, and mailed a birthday card to a friend, and then I went to the shopping mall and checked out a few shops, and then I went back home.
I hoovered and mopped the floor under the furniture.

Tomorrow I will receive money. I will pay my monthly gym membership fee, and recharge my travel card, and pay my Spotify Premium subscription. In the evening, I will go to the youth group in Late Winds.
I need to finish doing housework; mop the bathroom floor, and swab the kitchen counter, writing desk, dining table, and nightstand.
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I had one of my most re-occurring dreams about studying in Hogwarts; I was in Potions class early in the morning, and I was so sleepy and drowsy that I lied my head on the desk and drooled a bit. Severus Snape yelled “Miia, what is the answer to exercise 19?!” I shot up and yelled, “Dunno, dun care!” and fell back asleep. The class started giggling, and Hufflepuff lost 10 points.
I had a dream about the movie Planet of the Apes.
In another dream, I was in a chemistry class with a monster from my own past, a boy who attempted to rape me when I was a second- grader.

I had set my alarm clock to ring at ten o’clock in the morning, but I was already awake before eight o’clock and got up right away.

I took my morning medicine, took a shower and washed my hair thoroughly, because I was going to the hairdresser today. Nowadays I am more motivated towards washing my face, because that’s when I can use the face serum I had bought earlier this week. Here’s to hoping it will make me prettier than I already am <3
I dressed up, put on a necklace, and drank coffee. I also took one of the yoghurt shots, and one fruit & veggie juice shot.

Normally I don’t eat a breakfast, because my appetite is not at its prime in the mornings, and I feel hungry very rarely. Then again, I decided that I got nothing to lose, so I cooked myself a bowl of oatmeal in the microwave oven.
After finishing my impromptu breakfast, I started doing housework. I bagged the trash, replaced the towels, and took the sheets off my bed and washed them with the towels. Then I took the blanket, pillow, and mattress to the balcony, so they would freshen up. After the laundry was done, I took the sheets downstairs to the drying room.
I scrubbed the toilet bowl, using the new detergent, the lovely fuchsia pink Harpic cleaning gel.

I got a great idea; I cut my mullet with household scissors, and shortened my fringe after that. That way I could save with haircut bills.

I had received the monthly allowance. Most of the money went to paying last month’s rent, and I also had to renew my Microsoft Word subscription, and I also had to save money for the hairdresser.

I went out for errands; I took out the trash, mailed a greeting card, and took my phone bill to the social office. I went to the shopping mall, bought a gift for Zoya, and bought myself a big bar of Marabou chocolate, a new brand that I hadn’t tasted yet. It’s milk chocolate filled with soft butterscotch and these lovely air bubbles.

Right after exiting the candy shop, I started feasting on the chocolate bar. It was very tasty, but soon I started feeling sick and the taste turned bad in my mouth, like I had been poisoned.
I have decided that from now on, I will stop buying treats. It’s only a waste of money and physical and mental health, and besides, treats taste better when enjoyed with friends in parties and such.
Once back home, my HoivaOnni worker came for the weekly appointment. I decided to wash the dishes and iron the laundry later this weekend, we just had a nice talk. I should take up the habit of washing the dishes and ironing the laundry when my HoivaOnni worker is not visiting me, I want to be independent that way.

After the appointment, we agreed for a new one on next Friday at noon, same bat- time and same bat- day.
After leaving, I went straight to the hair salon and had my hair cut into a neat bob and the scruff on my neck shaved.

I went to the library and borrowed a laptop so I could use the Internet. I updated my blogs, scrolled through my Tumblr dashboard and Facebook feed, then I went to see my mom like every Friday.
Mom was just coming home when I arrived.

I drank coffee and orange juice, and ate salmiakki- chocolate waffle bites, dark grapes, cherry tomatoes, sourcream & onion saltines with peanut butter, a couple of sandwiches, a cinnamon roll and a cookie, and I accidentally swallowed a whole grape without masticating it. Glunk.

I started feeling weird; I looked at Pennywise fan art on Tumblr and kept on muttering “Ick, ick, ick, ick” and “Butt, butt, butt, butt” under my breath.
I took four tranquillizers, and soon I started feeling the heart- wrenching panic again, but soon it turned into a warm and fuzzy feeling when the chill pills started working. I felt like I was wrapped in a warm, heavy, soft blanket.

Later the day my dad came home from work.
I left at the same time, and decided to head to a shopping mall.
Once there, I looked around in different shops, planning what to buy for myself and for my friends.

I travelled downtown, and noticed that there were some Christians singing hymns and giving out tracts. I read some of them, just for the amusement. The Christians were really nice, even if they were a bit quirky.
I travelled back home, ate an apple and drank coffee. I am not planning to go to bed right away, my bed still needs to be hoovered and dressed with clean sheets, and besides, it’s a Friday night and I want to be awake in my own bachelorette pad while the town sleeps.

About at eleven o’clock, I got a coughing fit so I took my antibiotics.
I made myself midnight snack, ketchup on rye bread. It tasted scrumptious!

Tomorrow I will go to this workshop in an art museum in Helsinki, then I will go to a shopping mall in western Helsinki. I will also do more housework.
jokilaulu: (Default)
Last night I had a dream about one of my friends whom I miss terribly. I also had a dream about Michael Bay’s Transformers movie franchise, about beautiful landscapes, and in one extremely realistic dream, my dad drove me and my mother to Manse in his car. I have had so many dreams about downtown Manse, that sometimes I actually forget what it really looks like.

I got up at a little before one o’clock in the afternoon. It was too late to go to the novel reading & knitting group and I couldn’t afford a matinee ticket, so I decided to just hang out at home until it was time to go to the youth group at church.

I took my morning medicine, had a wash, and dressed up.

I spent most of the afternoon by myself, writing and knitting. I felt very comfortable, which is weird because if I stay inside my home a long time, I get cabin fever.

Later the day I left and went to a library, so I could borrow a laptop.
I started feeling like I had a panic attack; my heart lurched and I felt anxious and nervous. Which is weird because nothing bad had happened, or actually happened that day, it’s just my brain chemistry.

I was thinking of heading to the youth group, but buses and trains were scarce and I was still feeling panicky.

I called my mother and asked her if it’s okay that I come over, she said yes.
I walked to my parents’ home, once there mom answered the door.
I took a few tranquillizers, drank coffee and orange juice, and ate salmiakki- chocolate waffle bites, cherry tomatoes, cashew nuts, and dark grapes.
I watched TV with mom, wrote into my diary, and surfed on the Internet on mom’s laptop.

Later the day I decided to walk home, so I could have time to calm down.
I kissed my mom goodbye and told her I am coming again tomorrow.

I walked home, and didn’t have panic attacks or anxiety. I didn’t even start coughing even if I walked quite briskly, I might be able to go to the gym on Saturday.

Once at Hometown, I was thinking of going to the shopping mall but all the interesting shops were closed, so I went to the supermarket to look at wrapping papers and greeting cards.

Once back home, I took my evening medicine and drank the last cup of coffee. I put milk into it, and counted that I can take my antibiotics at quarter past ten o’clock in the evening.

I did the usual stuff; surfed on the Internet on my smartphone, wrote my blog template and diary, knitted the quilt square, stuff like that.

I made a couple of sandwiches because I was feeling peckish. I took my antibiotics, and then I went to bed.

Tomorrow will be a busy day; I have to get up early so I can wash my hair before the hairdresser, and start doing the weekly housework.
My HoivaOnni worker will visit me at noon, I will wash the dishes and iron a pillowcase while she’s visiting.
after that, I will go to the hairdresser and have my mullet snipped off (as you can probably remember, I had my hair shaved bald last Christmas and I haven’t visited a hairdresser ever since, and that’s why I have grown an unironic mullet), and have the dry tops of my hair cut off.
Then I will go visit my mother, and then I will probably go to a museum or something. Once back home, I am going to continue doing housework.
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Last night I didn’t feel like sleeping, because I was so busy writing and knitting. I decided to simply turn off the lights, lay my head on my pillow and close my eyes, and I fell fast asleep very fast.
I had a dream where I was married to Roger Delgado, bless his soul.

I woke up very early in the morning and decided to get up right away, it wasn’t even five o’clock. It was just that I didn’t get any more sleep.

I took my morning meds and had a wash. I decided to put off brushing my teeth because I didn’t want to transfer my flu bugs into my toothbrush. Instead, I flossed my teeth and used mouthwash.
I dressed up and put on clothes and jewellery, and drank my morning coffee.

I spent most of the morning writing and knitting and reading and tidying up, and looking for stuff to give away to a charity shop.
I also wrapped up Zoya’s gifts for her Halloween package.

I went to visit the health center, even if it wasn’t even opened yet. I wrote into my diary and knitted while waiting.
I got the queue number 5. It didn’t take long to wait until my turn to the nurse, who sent me to the doctor on call. I had to wait for an hour and half, but fortunately I had my smartphone and my diary and my knitting to distract me from being bored.

Soon it was my turn to go to the doctor, she listened to my raspy lungs with a stethoscope and diagnosed me with bronchitis. She prescribed me some antibiotics, I decided to pick them up later today.
To be honest, I wasn’t surprised that it was bronchitis, but then again, I thought it had only been a seasonal flu and besides, I didn’t feel extremely bad, like on the verge of dying, so I put off going to the doctor this long.

I went back home, had some coffee and did some random odd jobs and puttered around.
I made an appointment for a haircut on Friday at one o’clock in the afternoon. It’s my favorite hairdresser, they give you discount if you let a student cut your hair. They usually do great job, just like usual hairdressers.

Later the day I headed to my parents’ hometown library, and borrowed a laptop so I could update my journals. I have decided to go to the library every day in order to update my blogs, and check out Tumblr and other sites.

After I was done, I travelled to Stick City and went to NiceHearts, but I learned that you are not allowed to just visit the place to hang out, you are supposed to take part in the activity groups. So I left.

Once back at the train station, I ran into Odessa; she was going to the dentist. She was wearing beautiful purple eyeshadow, and she told me that she had become an aunt for the second time.

I saw this gorgeous queer couple, they were wearing the most amazing clothes and had intricate hairdos.

I travelled back home, and started a new diary.
I cooked a bowl of oatmeal porridge for lunch, and drank a nice cup of coffee. I should eat oatmeal more often since it’s healthier than ramen noodles.

My mother called me and told me to meet her in front of the stationery shop in the shopping mall, so she can give me the monthly allowance.
I went there, once she arrived, I gave her one of the knitted blanket squares. She was very happy about it.

She gave me 60 euros, I went to the pharmacy and bought two prescribed medicines; the antibiotics and a new batch of anti- depressants.
I was glad that the pharmacist who served me was the nice and kind one. She told me that I am supposed to the antibiotics with a meal, without any dairy products because they weaken the effect of the medicine. I decided to take them in the evenings.
I also bought this mineral water- induced beautifying lotion. I hope it makes my skin glow like a dewy rose in sunshine.

I went to the stationery shop, and bought gifts for Zoya.
Then I went to the supermarket and bought two six- packs of those yoghurt drink shots that are supposed to help the natural bacteria of your stomach. I also bought a two four- packs of fruit & veggie juice shots for supplementing your everyday fruit and vegetable intake. I also bought two big cans of milk.

Once back home, I put my new belongings to their rightful places, drank one of the yoghurt shots, dabbed the beautifying lotion on my face (and popped my pimples), recharged my smartphone, and wrapped up the gifts for Zoya.

Soon I left again. I felt a bit weird physically, my stomach was protesting and so were my muscles.

I went to the library to return a couple of books, then I travelled to Pole City. It took me a while to find the library, and once I did, I decided to use the customer computer instead of taking part in the novel reading & knitting group.
I had a good time, nonetheless.

Later the day I didn’t even notice it had gotten so dark. I travelled to the city center, and went to a burger joint and bought two portions of French fries.
I travelled back home, took my antibiotics and evening medicine, puttered around a bit, and when I was having a wash I put a few drops of the Vichy serum on my face.

It has been a very chilly day, you can see your breath fuming in the air. It has drizzled a bit, but the sun has also showed itself. There are already gorgeous summer colours here and there, but mostly it’s all green.
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I spent the entire yesterday sleeping, even if I had made plans; I was supposed to do the rest of the housework, that is, hoover the floor, take out the recycling, and tidy up the bathroom, and also book an appointment with my usual hairdresser, and go visit NiceHearts.
I simply didn’t feel like getting up, now that I had no milk for my coffee at home.
I only got up to take a pee, and noticed that I had got my period.
I got up in the evening to take my meds, and I noticed that I had forgotten to take my meds in the morning. Nevertheless, I didn’t feel any different.

I had some very pleasant dreams.
This morning I woke up to a tremendous coughing fit, I guess I am still not healthy. If this persists, I have to go visit the health center as soon as possible, it might be something worse than the usual flu, such as bronchitis or severe allergy.

I checked the balance of my bank account online, I had received the usual weekly allowance.
I renewed my Netflix subscription, and ordered a hat from Etsy.com; a woollen beanie with kitty ears in the asexual pride flag colors. I am going to put some pins and badges into it.
I would have loved to order some sweet stuff from beautiful perfect Archia’s own Gumroad.com shop, but all my favorite products were sold out.

I got up, took my morning medicine, freshened up, and put on clothes.
I called my mother and told her that I am coming over, she said it’s alright.

I went to the shopping mall and visited the supermarket to buy a bar of Fazer chocolate. It tasted like nothing at all, I realized that I am at that point of my flu bout when I have lost my sense of smell and taste.

It was very cloudy and chilly outside, the gorgeous autumn colors are already showing themselves.

I travelled to my parents’ home. Both mom and dad were there.

I was in a bad mood because my delusions were bothering me worse than usual. I felt like cursing and yelling at everyone, and I also felt a bit drowsy and woozy and “unreal”. I guess it was because of my low blood sugar, menstruation hormones, and the fact that I didn’t take my morning medicine yesterday.

Mom gave me 40 euros and this gorgeous paper journal she had bought for me during her journey in the USA. I think it’s bought from Barnes & Noble, we don’t have those in Finland.
I also found the Hello Kitty plushie keyring I had thought I had lost, it was on the table in my old room.

I ate cherry tomatoes, feta cheese, and salmiakki- chocolate waffles, I also made a cup of coffee.

I weighed myself on my mother’s bathroom scale, I have lost about three kilogrammes of my weight. I know it is because of my long- lasting flu bout, I haven’t had much appetite.

Later the day I travelled back to Hometown and went to Quarry City to visit Pinky, I paid her the debt for buying me a meal and a can of milk.

I went to the same supermarket in the shopping mall, and bought:
2 big packages of toilet paper
2 big packages of household paper
5 boxes of Kleenexes
4 packages of pocket- sized tissue packages
(I was in a desperate need of tissues since I blow my nose a lot these days)
2 pump action bottles of hand disinfectant
1 big can of milk

It took me a while to drag these items to the cashier line, but fortunately I had enough money to pay for them all. And besides, I would receive more money tomorrow.
I dragged the purchases home, put everything to their rightful places, blew my nose a lot, made a cup of coffee, and then I was off again.

I took out the biological waste, and took the toilet paper packages and my new paper journal downstairs to my storage unit.

I travelled to Walnut Hill, and went to the Late Winds youth group.
Today we had this music rating group where each one chose two songs, they were played on YouTube.com, and then we rated them.
I chose Eleventeen by Kimya Dawson, and Scum of the Earth by Rob Zombie. They got some pretty good ratings.

After the group, I travelled to Hometown.
I went back home, did some random odd jobs, and then I left again.
I took the boxes of household paper to the downstairs storage unit, and then I went to visit the shopping mall.
I just hung out, checking out the selection of my favorite shops. I noticed that the stationery shop has some cute new notebooks, but they didn’t have the cute bat- shaped plushie keyrings anymore, but the stationery shop in downtown Helsinki might have them. I also noticed that those small blueberry pies were in discount at the supermarket; I bought four of them.
Here’s to hoping I won’t be addicted to them, I have been eating them a lot these days.
I have been thinking of giving up on eating random treats altogether, they don’t satisfy me at all. I would lose weight and save money and improve my mental and physical health.

Once back home, I hoovered the floor and recharged my smartphone.
I also took a shower, and washed my face and hair, and put cortisone lotion on my rash. I should take showers more often.

I decided to go to bed early, I had nothing special to do. I took my evening medicine, and took my laptop and smartphone along to bed.

I didn’t get much sleep at first, I was too busy writing and knitting.
Soon I decided to turn off my laptop, put away my smartphone, turn off the lights, lay my head on the pillow, and close my eyes.

Tomorrow I will go to the health center as early as possible, to talk about my long- lasting flu and what is causing it. Then I will go to NiceHearts to spend time, and I also have to call my hairdresser to book an appointment for a haircut.
In the evening I will go visit my mother, she will give me the monthly allowance. Then I will go visit the Pole City library, I will pay for the lost DVD and take part in the novel reading & knitting group. At some part of the day, I will go shopping for groceries.
jokilaulu: (Default)
Monday, September 18th:
I will do the rest of the housework.
I will go visit NiceHearts, the hang- out place for girls and women.
I will book an appointment for a hairdresser, I need to have my mullet cut off and the ends of my hair strands cut off.

Tuesday, September 19th:
I will receive money. I will renew my Netflix subscription, and order something from Etsy and Gumroad.
I will go visit my mother, she will give me the weekly allowance. I will buy groceries and hygiene products, and some flu remedies.
I will go to movies to see Son of Bigfoot, and then I will go to the Late Winds youth group.

Wednesday, September 20th:
I will go visit my mother again, she will give me the monthly allowance.
I will pay the Doctor Who DVD, that I once lost, to the Pole City library when I go to the novel reading & knitting group.

Thursday, September 21st:
I will go to the novel reading & knitting group in the local library, then I will go to the local movie theater to see a matinee named Loikkarit, and then I will go to the church, there will be a youth group.

Friday, September 22nd:
I will receive the monthly allowance, I will pay last month’s rent and use the rest of the money to whatever I want.
I will start doing the weekly housework.
My HoivaOnni worker will come visit me at noon.
After the visit, I will go visit my mother.

Saturday, September 23rd:
If I have stopped coughing by now, I will go to the gym and work out. I might also go visit an art museum.
I will continue doing housework.

Sunday, September 24th:
I will go visit my parents, and call my grandmother.
I will continue doing housework.
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I still have the flu, sort of. I don’t have the general spaced out feeling or high fever and I don’t throw up every once in a while anymore, so I have gotten healthier. But nowadays every single morning when I wake up, I immediately start coughing and my nose starts generating tons of snot. Sometimes it actually makes me wonder how much snot you can fit in one smol human bean like me, I must have blown my nose over two hundred times during this flu bout.

On Friday, I felt a bit downcast; I felt like I wanted to go visit someone, drink coffee with them, and tell them about my current life. I also felt like I wanted freshly squeezed orange juice; once back home, I squeezed myself some orange juice, but it didn’t make me feel any better. I get all these weird thoughts, feelings, and food cravings when I have the flu.
I wish I would get completely healthy soon so I can start going to the gym and riding my bicycle.

On Saturday, I went to visit my friend Pinky, my friend Elysion was there as well. We had a sleepover at Pinky’s home, just like we had planned.
I helped Pinky with housework, and washed her dishes.
We went to a bar to sing karaoke. As for me, I couldn’t sing because I still had some flu bugs left and I coughed a lot. Then we went to a pizzeria, me and Elysion shared a vegetable pizza. It was very scrumptious but also very hot, I almost burned my mouth.

Me and Elysion slept on Pinky’s sofas. I like Pinky’s apartment because there are lots of all kinds of artefacts and plushies and dolls as such, her apartment looks very much like she herself.
I slept pretty well and tried my best not to cough too much so Elysion and Pinky wouldn’t wake up.
I woke up after having a dream about the Doctor Who episode Forest of the Dead, where I was stuck in some sort of universal museum & library with River Song and the 12th Doctor, even if he isn’t present in that episode. I found a book that was an analysis on the “eclectic feminism” in the Lewis Carrol book Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.
Right after waking up, I started coughing and my right nostril was full of snot.

I got up later, took my morning medicine, freshened up and dressed up. There was still pizza sauce and snot on my clothes. After Elysion and Pinky had gotten up as well, we made plans for the day and drank our morning coffees. They had a busy day planned, and I was on the move as well.

I headed back home. It was very sunny but also very chilly outside, and there are already leaves falling.
I put on fresh clothes, and washed a load of laundry. I did a little bit of this and that, and then I went to see Eleclya. We had agreed to meet today.

I took a train to Stick City, then a bus to her home. Suavecita was there as well, they had had a sleepover.
We had a good time, until Suavecita accidentally spilled my coffee all over the floor, I had left my mug on Eleclya’s nightstand and Suavecita had accidentally swished it off. At least we got a good laugh out of it, Eleclya laughed too.
We ate chocolate, cookies, and ice cream. Eleclya and Suavecita tried to make my prepaid internet connection work, but they didn’t succeed.

In the late afternoon, I headed back home; I took a bus to Stick City, and tried to take a train to Hometown, but the train was late so I took a bus.

Once back at Hometown, I went straight back home. I made a bowl of oatmeal for dinner, dealt my pills into both of my Dosetts, washed two loads of laundry, and then I washed the dishes. I have decided to push myself into washing the dishes every evening before bedtime.

Tomorrow I will do the rest of the housework; I will take out the recycling, hoover and mop the floor, scrub the bathroom from floor to ceiling, and wash more laundry.
I should also book an appointment with a hairdresser, I want to cut off my accidentally grown mullet and have the dry ends cut off. I might also ask for some sort of nourishing treatment and scalp massage.
I will go visit NiceHearts for the first time in my life, here’s to hoping I will have a good time there.
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Last night I finally slept in my own bed, because I had managed to hoover both the bed and mattress and put fresh sheets into it.
I slept well, and had plenty of peculiar and colourful dreams.

After getting up in the morning, I managed to have a proper wash´; brush my teeth, wash my face, and put lotion on my skin.
I had decided to take care of my dental health by just brushing my teeth, and give up flossing, cleaning my tongue or using mouthwash because doing them all takes up lots of my spoons.

I put on a pink flowery dress, and had to put on a grey flowery hoodie because my pink hoodie was hung on the drying rack.
I also put on my little plastic mermaid necklace, and tiny stud earrings into my ears.

I went to visit Pinky again, just like we had agreed. Elysion was still visiting her, she had had a sleepover at Pinky’s home. Me and Pinky agreed that I will come over to her home for a sleepover during next weekend.

We had coffee, I got a butterscotch bun and a small blueberry pie. We had a good time laughing at the programs on TV; Gordon Ramsay yelling at lousy chefs and a woman named Ishtar- Maria doing shamanic drumming.
I don’t really like Gordon Ramsey, because all he does is crush people’s dreams and yell his head off. As for Ishtar- Maria, I know that people are supposed to earn a living but I really don’t believe that spirituality should be for sale. But that’s just me.

Later the day me and Elysion travelled to downtown, I came along to keep her company. We waited for Elysion’s Greyhound bus together and after she left, I went to the movie theater and learned that my prepaid ticket has already been used when I went to see Annabelle – Creation. Oh well, I guess I’ll purchase a new packet of movie tickets soon, there are plenty of movies I want to see such as Son of Bigfoot, Stephen King’s IT, and Kingsman - The Golden Circle.

I went back home, I had a horrid need to pee but the toilet on the train was occupied during the whole journey.

Once back home, I made coffee and planned what to do for the rest of the evening, as not to be bored. I was feeling slight wanderlust again, but it was getting a bit late and my urbane survival instinct was telling me not to go to downtown Helsinki late at night, no matter how beautiful the cities are during the night.

Just to alleviate my boredom, I hoovered the floor, mopped the bathroom floor, and did some random odd jobs until my apartment looked nice and tidy.

I called my mother, she was on a vacation in Alabama with my dad. They were going to return on Saturday night, I agreed to go visit them on next week’s Tuesday so they could have time to rest.

I decided to go to the library to use the computer so I could take care of some business. I agreed with ASPA that I am going to pay last month’s rent by 100 euros each month until the end of the year.

I went to the shopping mall, and noticed that Lindex didn’t have the peculiar purple dress anymore, but Hennes & Mauritz had all kinds of cute clothes that I would enjoy wearing.
Bella’s still had the heart- patterned PLO scarf and the blue flowery dress.

I went back home, and did the evening routines.

My throat is sore and my nose is itchy, I guess I am getting the flu again even if I just had one.

Tomorrow I will receive money. I’m going to pay a commission to a friend, recharge my travel card, and buy groceries and some knitting yarn, I yearn to continue knitting the blanket squares.

Nachos

Monday, September 11th, 2017 13:01
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Last night I had very pleasant dreams. In one of them I visited a Princess and the Frog- styled amusement park that was made to look like a shopping mall. In another dream, I was studying in the first high school I ever attended (I have attended three different high schools in my life) and the 10th and 11th Doctors were my teachers. They were very sweet and kind and understanding towards me.

I woke up before nine o’clock in the morning, but didn’t feel like getting up right away. I got up about at half past ten o’clock in the morning, took my morning medicine, freshened up, got dressed, and put on some jewellery. I have taken up the habit of wearing more jewellery, I should also take up the habit of wearing more earrings so the piercing holes in both of my earlobes won’t close.

About less than fifteen minutes later, I was already travelling to Pole City. Once there, I went straight to Pearl House. I had coffee, updated my blogs on the common computer, and talked with the counsellors and other visitors, they were very nice to me.

My friend Elyseé, the one I had met yesterday, called me and asked if I wanted to see her today. She and Pinky were going to a restaurant in the afternoon, and I was welcome to join them.

About before two o’clock in the afternoon, I travelled to Rock City, adored the street art, and then I travelled to downtown where I went to the modern art museum.

I travelled to Hometown, and went to the Mexican restaurant where they were feasting. I got to eat the rest of Elyseé’s veggie burger, and ordered a meal of my own; nachos in cheddar sauce and spicy tomato sauce with tofu and gherkins. It tasted like Heaven on Earth.

After we left the restaurant, we saw police officers arresting a naked man. Goddess knows what had happened there.

The other girls went to visit Elyseé’s parents, we hugged each other and agreed to meet later the afternoon.
I went to my own home to do some housework. I hoovered and mopped the floor, including from under the furniture (except the bookshelf and the bureau of drawers), and wondered why there was still dust and crumbs on the floor right after hoovering.
I hoovered my bed and mattress and put clean sheets into it.

After a couple of phone calls, I agreed to meet Pinky and Elyseé in front of the flea market. I went there to meet the girls, and wondered if I should spend some money next week because I saw the most gorgeous heart- patterned pink keffiyeh scarf and a dress that was exactly my style! I should also buy something for my granny, I always buy her one gift when I go visit her. She might like one of the Marimekko poppy- patterned coffee mugs.

We went to the convenience store where Pinky bought two chocolate bars and a can of milk. Then we went to Pinky’s home, I helped Elyseé dye her hair and also helped Pinky with tidying up.
We drank coffee, I ate a buttered cheese roll and a small blueberry pie.
Later in the evening I decided to leave. Once back home, I washed three loads of laundry.

I was feeling slightly woozy, and I also felt moody and angry. I took some tranquillizers, and soon felt calm and collected. I should start using more tranquillizers at everyday crises, they make me feel so much better.

I washed my hair with my new shampoo, and then I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and put lotion on my skin.

I feel so, well, I don’t know how to say it, but I feel so alright and okay right now. Usually in the evenings I feel anxious and depressed, but right now I feel so content.

Tomorrow I will go to the gym as early as possible, I am going to go for a brisk walk on the treadmill for an hour. I also need to continue doing housework; mop the bathroom floor, and take out the recycling.
If my last movie ticket is still valid, I will go see the movie Son of Bigfoot.

(no subject)

Saturday, September 9th, 2017 22:00
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I woke up pretty early in the morning, but kept on sleeping. I had a dream where I was riding my bicycle near my parents’ home, it felt very realistic. In another dream I visited a strange house with some friendly people, there were lots of art installations and those small dispensers where you got keychains or candy or stuff like that. It made me think that I should have gotten up and went outside to have fun, instead of marinating in my own misery because I didn’t have any milk for my coffee, and I was running out of sugar as well.
I also had a dream where I cried after being bullied in school. It made me think about how everyone else at my school, both students and teachers, thought that I was just a stupid, silly, blubbering cry- baby, and no one else realized that I was depressed and suffering because of their actions.

My friend Elyseé called me and asked if I wanted to see her during the weekend, because she was coming over to Hometown to visit Pinky. I said I would love to, and after the call I was so happy that I managed to get up from the sofa- bed.

It was four o’clock in the afternoon. I took my morning medicine even if it wasn’t morning anymore, freshened up and put on my new dress.
It was raining outside, so I put on my mother’s old raincoat before heading outside.

I had a headache. I went to the supermarket and bought a Milky Way bar, and then I went for an urbane adventure; I travelled to Cross City, and then back to Hometown. I called Pinky on the way, she said I can come over but she didn’t have any milk or sugar, I volunteered myself to pop to the grocery shop to buy them.

Once at Hometown, I went to visit her and she gave me some change. I went to the nearest supermarket and bought a kilogram of sugar and a can of lactose- free milk that was in discount.
Once back at Pinky’s home, Elyseé was there as well. We had a good time drinking coffee, eating treats, talking and laughing and watching TV.

Later the day I had to go back home because it was getting late. Once there, I sent a text message to Pinky, telling her that I had arrived safely.

Tomorrow I will go to the gym because I didn’t go there today. I might also go visit Pearl House, and go to an art museum, and I also need to do housework.
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After getting up from my bed at ten o’clock, I rose on my tiptoes and stretched my arms above my head, and smiled widely. I am going to start doing it every morning after getting up from my bed.

I took my morning medicine, cleaned my teeth, washed my hair in the sink, and had a proper wash. I dressed up and made coffee, and while waiting for my breakfast porridge to cool down, I did the face and neck muscle exercises.

I started doing housework; I took the sheets off my bed and washed them in the laundry with towels after replacing them. I took the blanket, pillow, and mattress to the balcony to freshen them.

Later the day my HoivaOnni worker came for a visit at one o’clock in the afternoon. For the first half an hour, we talked about stuff, and then I washed the dishes and ironed the laundry.

After the visit, we made the next appointment on next Friday at the same time.
We left at the same time, she helped me take the washed sheets to the drying room downstairs, and then take out the trash.

I went to the post box to mail a greeting card and a letter, then I went to the library to return two Doctor Who DVDs. Then I went to the social office to drop off two bills, and then I went to the health center where I made a new appointment for the doctor, because the last one would have been at quarter past ten o’clock in the morning and that was way too early. I made a new appointment at quarter to two o’clock in the afternoon.

I decided to go visit Helsinki, but I was in a bit of a bad mood because I was hungry, and I didn’t have any milk for coffee at my home, and I was running out of sugar as well. I have to drink my coffee with milk and sugar.

I called my granny on my way home, and told her that I am planning to visit her next month (here’s to hoping the gorgeous autumn colors have already presented themselves), I will go there on Monday and leave on Sunday. She said it’s alright.

Once back home, I made myself dinner, watched Doctor Who on DVD, and made a bed on the sofa because my bedclothes were still freshening themselves.

Tomorrow is a gym day, I don’t know yet if I am going to walk on the treadmill as well. I might also go visit an art museum, and I need to do housework as well.
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Last night I had dreams that completely warped my sense of reality. After I woke up with a start at ten o’clock in the morning, I had to settle my thoughts for a moment and then I realized that I wasn’t living next to a dead forest with magnificent lakes and I wasn’t wearing a dress made of pubic hair.

I was thinking of whether I should get up because I didn’t feel like having wacky dreams, but I still felt like sleeping.
I got up, took my morning medicine, ate the rest of yesterday’s hazelnut chocolate, and went back to bed.

I slept for two hours, then I got up, freshened up and put on some clothes and jewellery.

Later in the afternoon, my friend Suavecita came over, we were supposed to go see the movie Annabelle – Creation. She brought a four- pack of chocolate puddings and a can of cocoa.

We spent some time together, then she drove us to the movie theater. We still had plenty of time before the movie, so we visited a few shops; the movie theater was next to a shopping mall.
We visited BodyShop, I was thinking of buying one of those massage ball- thingies that you are supposed to use on your face.
Hennes & Mauritz was amazing as usual, but they didn’t have any clothes or jewellery that would suit me.
The stationery shop didn’t have any special notebooks. It’s amazing how different shops, despite being on the same chain, have different selections.

At the movie theater, there was some sort of happening where people were served free coffee. I got some, even if I wasn’t technically allowed, but then again, no one saw me do it and besides, it’s only democratic to share the refreshments. And besides, it made me feel good because I didn’t have any coffee today.

The movie was amazing and well done, but I didn’t like the jump scares. I might watch the first AnnabelleThe Conjuring movies as well, they belong in the same series.

After the movie, we went to this shop that sells party equipment, masks and costumes. I loved this dress that looked like a pirate queen’s dress, I might buy it later.
Suavecita went to a department store for some shopping, I accompanied her. After that, I travelled back to Hometown.

In the evening I went to the library to update my blogs on the computer, I still don’t have an Internet access.
I also went to the gym to walk on the treadmill for an hour, but I noticed that I forgot my smartphone at home; I cannot walk on the treadmill if I don’t have any distraction like Netflix or Spotify with me.

I went back home, and found my smartphone. I decided not to go back to the gym, I was too knackered.

I noticed that the Doctor Who DVDs I had borrowed from the library were supposed to be returned, but I hadn’t yet watched the “important” episodes. I watched the episode Bad Wolf and Parting of Ways, and I would have loved to watch Father’s Day but it caused me too much feels I could not handle.

I took my evening medicine before nine o’clock, because I was feeling a bit irritable and moody and I hoped it would calm me down. I went to bed without having a wash.

Tomorrow I am going to start doing the weekly housework. Also, my HoivaOnni worker will visit me at one o’clock in the afternoon; while she is visiting me, I will wash the dishes and iron the laundry.
After that, I need to run a couple of errands. Then I will go to a few museums, perhaps the national museum, modern art museum, and another museum downtown. And in the evening I will go to the gym to walk on the treadmill, and this time I will remember to take my smartphone along.

(no subject)

Wednesday, September 6th, 2017 22:00
jokilaulu: (Default)
Last night I had a dream where I was watching the tenth season of the Doctor Who reboot. The twelfth Doctor was acting pretty much as goofy as his tenth or eleventh regeneration.
In another dream, I was visiting a party that was held in the basement of an apartment house during a night in Walnut Hill. My avec was my favourite Team Fortress 2 character Tavish Degroot, I said to him “I surely do hope they are serving refreshments, my blood sugar level demands me to put something in my mouth”.

I got up a little before ten o’clock in the morning, and went to the bathroom to take a pee. Then I went back to bed and slept past noon. I felt strangely calm and content and slept very sweetly.

Later the day I got up, took my morning medicine, had a proper wash, dressed up, and did the face and neck muscle exercises. Then I headed to the gym.

I walked through the shopping mall, on my way there this person asked me if I wanted to take part in taste- testing session. I said it’s alright.
I tasted several dairy- free yoghurts and cocoa and graded them, I was given a choice for a prize and I picked two Fazer chocolate bars with whole hazelnuts.

I went to the gym but I didn’t stay long, I used some of the gym equipment and then I went back home.

I did some housework and arranged my stuff, and then it was time to head to Helsinki because I was going to a knitting group in Rock City library.

On the train to Helsinki, there was this young man who passed out because he was drunk. An ambulance picked him up at the central railway station.

I decided to walk to Rock City, it wasn’t that far away.
Once there, I decided not to take part in the knitting group, instead I updated my blogs on a common computer.

I received two letters in the mail today; one was a bill for the unpaid broadband bills that my social worker was supposed to pay, one was for half of the last month’s rent that I am going to pay back 100 euros a month. And if I want my library privileges back, I need to pay for the Doctor Who DVD that I had lost when it was in my possession.
I also need to buy tickets for the musicals I am going to go see this year; Cats, Pippi Longstocking, Cirque Du Soleil, and a Finnish musical named Myrskyluodon Maija that I am going to go see with Riga.
Don’t worry about me, I can somehow afford all of them, but I need to stop shopping for notebooks and dresses. Those musicals are one-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so I need to grab it while I can.
Tomorrow I will go to movies with Suavecita, we will go see Annabelle – Creation. After that, I will go to the gym to walk on the treadmill for an hour.
jokilaulu: (Default)
Yesterday I slept all the way to six o’clock in the evening, simply because I didn’t have milk for my coffee, and besides, I didn’t have anything special to do anyway until evening when I went to visit my mother.
It’s kind of worrisome when you think about it, that I would rather sleep all day because I don’t think my life is interesting enough, or because I don’t think I can face another day. Or simply because I cannot have coffee.
I heard disco music through my heavy sleep, I guess it’s because there is a park nearby where teenagers blast music. Sometimes I get worried about them, are they having a bad time at home with their parents since they want to stay out late, or are their parents drunk or stoned to not to care of them?

I got up in the evening, took my morning medicine, freshened up and threw on some clothes. I called my mother and asked her if I can come over to pick up the weekly allowance, she said it’s alright.
I travelled to my parents’ home, both mom and dad were there. Mom gave me 80 euros, I drank a cup of coffee, and then I left.

I took a bus back to Hometown, and then I went grocery shopping. I decided to buy only half of the necessary groceries because I wasn’t strong enough to carry a week’s worth of groceries and I didn’t have enough carrier bags anyway, and I wouldn’t eat that much for the rest of the day, and I would receive more money tomorrow so I could buy the rest of the groceries.
I bought avocadoes, apples, tomatoes, and I could have bought kiwifruits but the supermarket didn’t seem to have them in their selection. I also bought vitaminized milk, two packages of nutrient- rich margarine, two boxes of coffee grounds, and two four- packages of these shots that are made of mashed fruits and vegetables, they are kind of supplements for your daily veg & fruit intake. I am going to drink one per day.
I also bought four gifts for Zoya, one from the supermarket and three from Hennes & Mauritz, I am sending her a very big and cute Halloween gift package.

Once back home, I put everything to their rightful places, and decided to go for a walk in the forest next to my home. I had a good time, I should go for walks more often.
I have noticed that the colder the air, the fresher it smells. Autumn is coming, and nature looks ever so beautiful on her dying breath.
Once back home, I didn’t bother with having a wash, I just took my meds and went to bed.

I had weird dreams last night. I got up at eleven o’clock, took my morning medicine and drank the first coffee.
I took a shower and cleaned my teeth, and felt very fresh and good.
I logged in to my online bank account, and noticed that I had finally received money from the social office. I ordered a new necklace from Etsy, a pink glittery transparent heart.

Me and my friend Mella had agreed to meet at one o’clock in the afternoon in the Pearl House at Pole City, I was glad that I was awake early enough.
I arrived a bit early, Mella was already there. We drank coffee and talked a bit, and I updated my blogs on the common computer.

Later the day I started thinking about what I should do for the rest of the day. I decided to leave and travelled to the city center, and bought a new dress that was in discount at Indian Bazaar. I have had my eye on that dress for a long time; it’s lovely bubblegum pink with colorful flowery embroideries at the neckline and the hemline.

I travelled back home, made some coffee, and started feeling as if I was misplaced between my past and future. It’s like that Sylvia Plath story about sitting in a fig tree; all the figs represented choices that I could make, and they were equally wonderful, but if I chose one, I would lose the others. I never knew that everyday choices would be that dramatic.

I decided not to go to Late Winds today, instead I washed a load of laundry, and then I went to the gym. I should catch up on household activities, and I also need to buy more nightshirts.

First I went to the stationery shop to buy this month’s birthday and name- day cards, and a new notebook. It’s one of those small and thick ones.
I walked on the treadmill for exactly an hour while watching the BBC Sherlock episode The Lying Detective on my Netflix app.

I popped to the library on my way home, and picked up some DVDs

Once back home, I started working on the greeting cards; I wrote the sender’s and receiver’s address, greetings and signatures, and waited for the ink to dry out so I could put postage stamps and also some cute stickers on them.

A little before nine o’clock in the evening I felt like I could have brushed my teeth and had a wash, but decided to wait until it’s nine o’clock and I can take my evening medicine and have a wash.
I wonder why I can take my morning medicine at whatever time after getting up from the bed, but I always take my evening medicine at nine o’clock sharp.
And of course, I didn’t bother with the evening routines, I just took my medicine and went to bed.

I felt really bad, and I didn’t understand why. I seemed calm on the outside, and on the inside I felt like I was having a full- blown panic attack. Do I drink too much coffee? Is it because of my blood sugar, thyroid gland, nutrition, or do I exercise too little? I wish there was a simple solution that could be fixed.
I know that life isn’t supposed to be hundred percent happy all the time, but I am just so sick and tired of feeling depressed and anxious most of the time.

I have a weird feeling in my throat, it hurts every time I swallow. It feels like the muscles on the front of my throat are achy and stiff, it doesn’t feel like it’s infected or anything like that.

I have gotten a dash of acne again, mainly whiteheads on my jawline and earlobes and neck. I know they will disappear as soon as they have appeared.
I also have a shit ton of blackheads on my bosom, on every pore there is a blackhead.

Tomorrow I will go to the gym to work out, after that I will go to a knitting group in a library in Helsinki.
jokilaulu: (Default)
I haven’t been able to update for a while, because I cannot use the internet at my home and I also couldn’t use the Microsoft Word template. I managed to connect to the Internet at my parents’ home, and renew my Microsoft Word subscription online.

On Monday, I went to Pearl House, and then I went to the movies to see Spider- Man: Homecoming.

On Tuesday, I went to visit Pearl House again, I met my friend Tiinu there. Then I went to see my friend Mella, she gave me a potted yellow chrysanthemum and then we went to visit my home for a little coffee and chitchat.
Later the day I rode my bicycle to Late Winds, perhaps I rode a bit too fast because I was completely out of breath and started thinking angry thoughts. But once I was at Late Winds, I felt my cheeks glowing.
In the group, we played songs and rated them. I picked Life on Mars by David Bowie and The Beer by Kimya Dawson.

On Wednesday, I slept late into the afternoon. I received two tiny packages in the mail, it was the jewellery I had ordered from Etsy.com; I had ordered two pendant necklaces, but received three. One of them was a tiny silver- plated hand grenade with an orange- yellow glass jewel, it symbolized the Overwatch character Junkrat. The second was a piece of green glass found from an ocean, the waves had made it all smooth. The extra necklace was found from the same package as the latter one, it was an oak leaf made from iron. It reminded me of the elves from Tolkien’s books.
I called my friend Suavecita, we agreed to go see the movie Annabella – Creation next week.
I decided to go geocaching; I walked around the neighborhood, trying to find “Bunny’s Treasure Box” but couldn’t. Later I learned that it was set in the year 2007, a decade ago when I was treated in Clock River mental hospital.
I gave up and went to visit my mother. We had coffee and buns.

On Thursday, I went to visit Lapland Spring, my friend Mella was there.
After leaving, I went to the Museum of Natural Science and admired the woolly mammoth baby.
After that, I travelled back to Hometown and went to a library.
In the evening, I went to the gym and walked on the treadmill for an hour.

Last night I had another dream about the summer cottage.
I got up at ten o’clock, took my morning medicine and drank the first coffee of the morning. Then I had a wash, dressed up and put on a necklace, cooked a bowlful of oatmeal porridge and did the muscle exercises.
I did the usual every- Friday housework; bagged the trash, took the sheets off my bed and replaced the towels and washed them in the laundry.

I was wondering where my HoivaOnni worker was, because she was supposed to visit at half past noon. I called her, she said that she was supposed to visit at half past two o’clock, so I guess I got the time wrong.

I decided to go visit my mother, now that I had the time.
I called her and asked her if it’s okay that I come over, she said it’s alright.

I travelled to my parents’ home instead of riding a bicycle or walking. I took my laptop along, so I could use their Internet connection to re- connect my Microsoft Word, so I could start writing again. I was born to write.

Once at my parents’ home, I decided not to make coffee, I just wrote my blog and ate a bag of salmiakki- flavoured chocolate waffle bites.

Mom was tidying up the bathroom, she also gave me a tenner. Later I packed up and we left at the same time, we travelled to the shopping mall where she gave me another 20 euros.

I travelled back home and went to the supermarket to buy myself a bag of those salmiakki- chocolate waffle bites I had had at my parents’ home.

Once back home, my HoivaOnni worker was already waiting for me. I let her in, and ate a whole bag of the waffle bites.

I started feeling weird, like I wanted to do something special but I wasn’t satisfied with the choices I had.

We agreed to have a new appointment next Friday at one o’clock in the afternoon.

We left at the same time, I travelled to Helsinki and visited the National Museum.
I also went to the contemporary art museum.

I travelled back to Hometown and went to the supermarket to buy food.
I bought microwaveable meals for lunch and microwaveable soups for dinner, and some fruits and vegetables, and milk and bread.

Once back home, I was completely tired and exhausted and my muscles felt even more stiff and achy than yesterday after walking on the treadmill for an hour. I decided not to go to the gym again.

I decided to spend the evening writing my blog and diary, watching Doctor Who episodes, and fiddling on my smartphone.
jokilaulu: (Default)
I woke up very early this morning to a tremendous cough. I kept on coughing in patterns; right after the first cough, I let out a smaller cough.



When I fell back asleep, I had a dream where Batman was pursuing me for committing a petty crime and I felt that convicting me would be terribly unfair because it would hurt my feelings.

I was saved by my favourite cartoon characters, including Goofy from Disney, and Cindy from "Rock 'n Rule".



I kept on waking up between hours, and decided to get up a little before ten o'clock in the morning.

I managed to do all the morning routines properly. I even managed to do the face, neck, hand and foot muscle exercises, but not all of them because I was getting a bit achy.



I had this weird pain between my shoulder blades, like there was something sharp poking between them.



After finishing my breakfast porridge, I decided to go to Pearl House because I had to use a computer.



It was very chilly outside. Actually the whole summer has been quite chilly.



I travelled to Pole City and went to Pearl House. I drank coffee, talked with the others, and updated my blog.



Later the day I went to movies to see Spider- Man: Homecoming. I have decided to watch all of the DC & Marvel movies, the future ones on screen and the past ones on DVD. I have already seen both Thor movies, Deadpool, Wonder Woman, Guardians of the Galaxy...



After the movie, I was in high spirits and felt even better after I noticed that the Amos Anderson art museum was still open.



Nevertheless, I was feeling hungry so I decided to go back home.



I made myself a cup of coffee and a couple of sandwiches.



I had to take my evening medicine before eight o'clock in the evening, when I usually take it at nine o'clock in the evening. I was hoping it would help me calm down.



I really don't understand why caffeine and sugar make me feel so bad, considering how good they taste.



Tomorrow I will go see my friend Mella, she will come visit my home. After that I will go visit the parish with Riga, then I will go to Late Winds youth group, and then I will go visit my mother. She will give me the weekly allowance, I will recharge my travel card for two weeks and buy food.
jokilaulu: (Default)
I spent the entire Saturday sleeping, simply because I saw no reason in getting up because I had nothing special to do. Not even coffee motivated me to get up. It was sad, really.
I had plenty of weird dreams.

I got up on Sunday, took my morning medicine and freshened up, dressed up and drank coffee. Then I decided to get out of my comfort zone and head to a library in downtown, because I wanted to update my blogs. By getting out of my comfort zone, I mean that I felt like I wanted to stay inside my comfy and warm apartment all day, but I really didn’t feel like spending all day inside.

I had to rely on libraries to use a computer, because my laptop is pretty much useless by now, I cannot use it to surf on the Internet because, like I mentioned earlier, my broadband connection was cut off because my social worker didn’t pay my broadband bills like she was supposed to.
And besides, I have to be connected to the Internet in order to renew my Microsoft Word subscription, and considering that it isn’t connected to the Internet, well, I cannot even use it to write.

I travelled to downtown and went to the nearest library. I told the librarian that I wanted to book a computer, and they told me that the next one is available at four o’clock in the afternoon, so I went to a supermarket and bought myself a Magnum Double Caramel ice cream just to spend time.

I was enjoying my ice cream and flipping through a postcard rack next to the library, when this elderly black man asked me in a flirty voice if I speak English. I walked away, and that’s when this middle- aged black man blew me a kiss.

I decided to give up using the computer, because I was feeling pretty shaky and like I was about to faint.

I went to a shopping center to look for new clothes and jewellery, and when I was standing on the escalator, this youngish black man asked me how am I doing and if everything is okay. I didn’t answer, and he just walked away without saying a word.

I decided to head back home, I was completely defeated. I called my mother on the way to Hometown and asked her if I can come over, she said it’s alright.

Once at a bus stop, I was grooming myself, combing my hair and dabbing Nivea Crème on my face, when this Indian man told me that I am already beautiful enough. I paid no attention to him, so he went on to bother an elderly woman and kissed her shoe.

Once at my parents’ home, mom paid for my Museum Card because she knows how important it is to me. Then she said that I am addicted to keeping a diary.

Later the day I travelled back home, feeling a bit down in the dumps. I called my grandmother and talked with her, like I do every Sunday. She never fails to cheer me up, I love her so much.

Tomorrow I will go to the Pearl House in Pole City, then I will go to movies to see Spider- Man: Homecoming. After that, I will go to AmAn art museum. In the evening, I will go to the gym and walk on the treadmill for an hour.
jokilaulu: (Default)


I was already awake at two o'clock, I went to take a pee and went back to sleep.



I woke up again at four o'clock in the morning, and got up to take my morning medicine and eat the rest of the chocolate.

I wondered why my sleeping pattern was playing tricks on me.



I went back to sleep, and woke up when Luisita sent me a message. I was glad and grateful because it woke me up before my alarm.



I had a wash but didn't brush my teeth because I didn't feel like transferring my flu bugs to my toothbrush.



I put on a hippie dress, and flopped back on my bed.

I had a dream where I lived in a youth commune, and all the other tenants had decorated their hair with glitter. It inspired me to pour a whole canister of glitter over my head.



I woke up and noticed that I had slept for a few hours.

I got up and left.

I went to a library to print my account statement, then I went to the social office to fill out an application for income support. I mentioned needing support for buying prescribed medicine, and paying my gym membership fee.



I travelled to Pole City and went to Pearl House. I drank a cup of coffee, and ate two chocolate chip cookies.



I travelled to the city centre and went to Hennes & Mauritz where I bought a new cosmetics bag; transparent with a pattern of mermaid kitties.



I travelled back to Hometown and went to the health centre.

I didn't have to wait long for my turn.

I explained the nurse on call about a myriad of my health problems:



👉 I have something itchy in my underbelly, I think it's an inflamed hair vellus or whatever it is called.

And also, ever since my last period ended, I have had this clear sticky discharge from my vagina. It has never occurred before.



👉 I need allergy & asthma & thyroid & blood sugar tests.



👉 I need prescribed lotion for the dry & flaky skin between my nose and mouth.



👉 I want to have an appointment with dentist & gynaecologist for an annual check up, and I also want to talk to a nutritionists.



👉 I need a tetanus shot.



The nurse booked an appointment for the shot tomorrow, and as for the other appointments, I will meet a doctor on September 28th.



I went to a library to pick up my requests, two DVDs and two books. I also renewed my library card.



Once back home, I washed three loads of laundry, ate dinner, took out the recycling, made a couple of phone calls, and then I watched the movie "Jacob's Ladder".



In the evening I went to the pharmacy to pick up more medicine. I started feeling weird, I felt angry and moody to the point of being furious.

I was afraid that I would do something that I would regret later.



Once back home, I set my smartphone alarm to wake me up tomorrow morning at six o'clock.

I will go to the health centre to have a tetanus shot, then I will go to Pearl House, then to a knitting & novel reading group, then to Lapland Spring.
jokilaulu: (Default)
I am recovering from my cold. I still have a snotty nose and I cough a lot and my throat feels weird, but I feel better than last week.

I have, once again, taken up the habit of eating too much chocolate. Once I am cured from this flu, I will compensate it by going to the gym to work out every Wednesday and Saturday, and go to the same gym every evening to walk on the treadmill for an hour. I might also start going to the swimming pool; about a year earlier I had given up swimming, because I only managed to swim for about one or two times to end and back, and by then I was achy and tired and it made me grumpy. Now that I am physically and mentally better and healthier and fitter, I might renew my membership again.

I would love eating more fruits and vegetables, whether fresh, canned, frozen, or dried, but I cannot afford them. Here where I live, vegetables and fruits alike are very expensive.

I had planned to go to Pearl House on Monday, but I was having such intriguing dreams that I slept all the way to six o’clock in the evening. I got up to take my morning medicine, drink coffee, put on a fresh nightshirt, and go back to bed after taking my evening medicine.

Today I slept all the way to noon, because I was still having interesting dreams.
I got up, took my morning medicine, put on clothes, drank coffee, and logged in to my online bank account to see if I had received the monthly allowance. Yes I had, but I still hadn’t received my weekly allowance from the social office. Here’s to hoping I will start receiving it next month.

I called my mother and asked her if I can come over, they said it’s alright.
I travelled to my parents’ home, once there I had coffee and buns with my mother, and used their laptop to pay for my Spotify Premium and Microsoft Word subscription. I also ordered two necklaces from Etsy.com; one with a piece of green glass that has been found from an ocean, and an Overwatch necklace with a Junkrat theme; a fiery yellow “diamond” and a hand grenade- shaped silver- plated pendant.

Me and mom walked to Hometown, where mom withdrew cash and gave me the weekly allowance.

I went to the stationery shop and bought a roll of packing tape that I can use to fasten pictures on the walls. Then I went to the supermarket and bought two big bars of chocolate, a toilet brush, a pair of rubber gloves for washing the dishes and another pair for housecleaning.
I also bought a gift for Zoya, and a visited Flying Tiger to buy them another gift (I almost wrote “gif” on both times because I am used to pronounce it with a silent T!)

I went back home, put everything to their rightful places, and ate some chocolate.

Later the day I travelled to the youth group in Late Winds, I had a good time there. My friend, a counsellor from Pearl House, called me. I must visit that place soon.

Later the day I travelled to Helsinki, and went to a jewellery shop where I bought a gift for Zoya and a necklace for myself.

I went to an eco- market and bought two Humble Brush toothbrushes and two vegan sausages for a snack.

I travelled back to Hometown, and went to a clothing shop to buy two gifts for Zoya.

Once back home, I wrapped up the gifts. I ran out of those stickers where you write the receiver’s name and stick them on the gift package. They were actually meant for jam jars and other packages where you store food, I might start buying those gift tags made from carton.

I took out the recycling, and washed a duvet cover. I took it to the downstairs drying room and fetched last weekend’s laundry at the same time.
I should do more housework every day, not only on weekends.

I wonder why I feel so speedy and manic and angry. My period is over for this month, but it might be my blood sugar.

I set my alarm clock to ring at six o’clock tomorrow morning. I really cannot predict if I will be awake that early, but I hope I will.
I need to go to the health center and talk to a nurse about my health; I have to book an appointment for allergy tests (I have allergy symptoms all around the year, and I don’t know why), blood tests (I want to find out if I have diabetes or hypoglycaemia or if there’s something wrong with my thyroid gland), dental health (I want to book an annual appointment with a dentist), and burning fat and losing weight (because I want to, not because I have to).
Then I will go to the social security institution to apply for income support for the next month.
Then I will go to Pearl House, and I have to be home by three o’clock in the afternoon because Eleclya will come for a visit.
jokilaulu: (Default)
I didn't sleep much last night. Perhaps I should lay off the coffee (or at least switch to decaf) and stop surfing on the Internet on my smartphone, they keep me awake.
I was also kept awake by stuff I had to do; empty my MoonCup, re- arrange my shoes…

In the small hours, I took my morning medicine, cleaned my teeth properly, and put on clothes. I decided to take a power nap to sleep away all the sleep debt, and got up to brew coffee before my HoivaOnni worker came for the weekly appointment.
I took the sheets off my bed and replaced my towels, and washed them in the laundry.

The worker arrived a bit late, but we had a good time just talking to each other, I didn’t bother with washing the dishes or ironing the laundry because I didn’t want to spread my flu bugs to my cutlery and linen.

Later the day when the appointment was over, we agreed for a new one next Friday at quarter to one o’clock in the afternoon.
I called my mother and told her I am coming over, they said it’s alright. Me and the worker took out my trash, and then I travelled to my parents’ home.

It was very warm and cloudy outside, the kind of weather that predicted that it would be a thunderstorm later.

Once at my parents’ home, my mom gave me 60 euros like every 20th day of the month. I drank coffee and orange juice, and ate feta cheese and a cinnamon roll.
Me and mom walked to Hometown and went to the shopping mall. Mom went for their own errands, and I went for mine.

I went to a clothing shop, and bought a black shirt with a shiny picture of a winged unicorn and the text Unicorn Believer on the front. Then I went to another clothing shop and bought this super sweet, cute, and adorable pink tricot blouse with slightly puffy sleeves.

Then I went to a jewellery shop, and I couldn’t believe my luck; there was a 50 percent discount for everything, so I bought two articles of jewellery for my friend Schlitzie. They will be a Halloween gift.

I went to the supermarket, and bought a melon, a pound of green grapes, a pound of tomatoes, a can of milk, two bars of chocolate, and some microwaveable meals.

Once back home, I put everything to their rightful places, washed two loads of laundry, re- arranged the pictures on my walls, scrounged for stuff to give away to charity, wrapped up the gifts, and put my pills into my Dosett. I had a good time doing a little bit of this and that.

I was feeling kind of giddy, so I took a few tranquillizers but they didn’t calm me. I took three more of them an hour later, and by then it was time to take my evening medicine. It’s about midnight by now and I don’t feel any calmer.
Sometimes my tranquillizers make me feel calm and collected, and sometimes they don’t help me at all, and sometimes they almost make me fall asleep on my feet.

I watched the rest of Mean Girls on Netflix and ate chocolate. I could have spent that time doing something else, like hung the laundry I had washed.

I started feeling anxious; I didn’t have any clean nighties, and sleeping naked made me feel uncomfortable. And I also had to bring the mattress, blanket, and pillow inside and hoover the bed and mattress and dress my bed into clean sheets, but it was getting late so I couldn’t use the vacuum cleaner because I didn’t want the noise to disturb my neighbors.

I also felt worried about the state of the world; terrorism and Nazis could happen in my home country as well. My problems seem to pale when you think about it.

I remembered the song Another day in Paradise by Phil Collins. I think about how people have told me that many people would be happy with as little as I have.
It’s just that my depression and anxiety prevent me from seeing how amazing my life is.

I put on an old nightie I got from a friend, it feels like they are hugging me. I went to sleep on a bed without sheets, it feels cool and soft like a cloud. I also managed to hang the laundry, otherwise it would have been in the laundry machine all night.
jokilaulu: (Default)
On Sunday evening, I had a sore throat, and by Monday morning, I had a full- blown cold. It seems like many people around here have a cold right now, including Suavecita and Norsis.
On Monday I was doing fine, and on Tuesday I managed to go visit my mother so she could give me the weekly allowance, and in the afternoon, I managed to go to the Late Winds hobby group.
On Wednesday, I felt downright horrendous; I threw up everything I consumed, even if it was only a glass of water. My head ached, I had nightmarish visions, I sweated like a pig and still felt cold. On the top of it, I got my period, but fortunately the cramps weren’t as bad as they used to be when I was thirteen years old.
If I had had the hiccups and a Creepy Moment, I would probably be in hospital by now.

I had asked my mother to visit me today, she brought me orange juice and two small boxes of lemon sorbet ice cream which we shared. She told me that my apartment was very tidy.
I have noticed that both of my parents have pretty much mellowed out by their old age, they are not as snappish and moody as they used to be when I was a kid.

Later the day, after my mother left, I took a shower and washed my face and hair, and put lotion on my body. I put on my pink princess dress, and put a strawberry necklace around my neck.
I went to the shopping mall, and then I decided to travel to Helsinki and visit a few shops.
I bought French fries.

I travelled home a longer way; I took a subway to Crossing, and then a bus back to Hometown. I went to the local library and picked up two of my requests, the first and fourth seasons of the rebooted Doctor Who on DVD.
Once back home, I watched the episode Blink, it made me feel sad but happy at the same time. Then I watched some of the episode Rose, it made me feel very nostalgic considering that it has been a couple of years since I saw that episode for the first time.

In the evening, I took my medicine, put on a nightie, and went to bed, taking my laptop and smartphone along.
For some reason, I felt very frustrated and moody, even if I have felt pretty calm for the past few days. I don’t know why.

Tomorrow my HoivaOnni worker will visit me at quarter past noon o’clock. I will try to do housework as well as I can, and after that, I will go visit the social security institution.
After that, I will go visit my parents. My mother will give me half of the monthly allowance, I will buy some yummy fruits and veggies, and some pretty new clothes.

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Mii- Mii the ever- loving

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